I have been contemplating the way(s) that our increasing devotion to technology has affected the ways we communicate with each other and develop realationships. One obvious part of this discussion is the issue of Internet dating. I am really curious to hear your opinions on this topic. There are, of course, convincing arguments for dating online (you can find who/what you are looking for a lot easier; it gives you access to a larger "dating pool"; you can communicate and find out if there is any real compatability beyond physical attraction), but there are also a lot of reasons not to do it (first and foremost, there are a lot of freaks in the world, and many of them spend a lot of time online; the people you meet often live too far away for a real relationship; you can't know if you have chemistry with someone until you meet that person face to face; people are fake online, putting forth a false, or idealized, version of themselves). These are all arguments I have heard, not necessarily my own arguments. I'm sure you have heard these arguments, or similar ones.So my question to you is this: Is online dating a good thing? Is it improving or hindering the way we meet and fall in love? Is it speeding up an outdated process or taking all of the fun and tradition out of what my grandparents would call "courting"? Feel free to share personal experiences. Do you meet people online? Do you have success stories? Horror stories? I am really interested in hearing your views on this topic, as well as your own diverse experiences.
~D
6 comments:
Hey D,
I would like to relate a sucess story of a friend of mine. I have numerous friends and family members who have dipped into the sea of "Mass technological relations" Only one of who I can relate a beautiful success story. I actually had a very close friend of mine while we were still IN HIGH SCHOOL meet a guy over the internet - she lived in Texas and he in California - they managed to fall in love over a period of many months of "chating." He came to visit her, and they decided he wanted to move to Texas. They were married shortly after, and I am happy to report they are still married over 10 years later, and they have two beautiful children!! What a glorious thing came out of them meeting online.
However aside from that one story, I have no other friends or family that have had any luck with online dating ... moreover it has left a sour taste in most of their mouths. It seems to be that most of them tell me it feels like a giant joke. The problems they have related to me include: a lot of people are abusing the "privileges" of not having to meet someone face to face. They can say whatever they want, and be whoever they want. Married people can "easily" become single and their spouses never find out.
It has become a very dangerous fine line to walk, of how to go about being able to safely "meet" someone online. Many people are hurt emotionally & physically from the lack of "safety" from predators - all though you could argue that part is no different than in person! I do not disagree with that. I also understand the value in belonging, and the benefit in valuable friendships it may extend to many people who feel so alone in today's busy world --- The world where hardly anyone seems to enjoy taking the time to "get to know your neighbor." What has happened to our society? ... Well of course it has evolved - it must! Do I agree - well that is left for me to know and you to figure out ;-)
-L
As Americans, we pride ourselves on laziness and sloth, someone once said: why take the stairway to heaven when there is a high way to hell? this i think is so valid to why we online date. We go online because the ways of face to face are slowly disappearing, and why go to the mall, a 5 to 45 minute drive (depending on where you live) to pick up on chicks, when you can go online, and meet them. Personally i don't believe in online dating because 9 times out of 10 if it says female, its really a guy just trying to mess with you. In my personal opinion, online relationships rarely work, like what LILA said, sometimes they work out and its beautiful, but more times than not it doesn't work, and one party always ends up being creepy, or lied on their online profile. Which brings up
another of LILA's points: you can be anything, and say anything, and there is no way anyone can disprove you.
And my first point was laziness, i also think that children are getting too dependent on technology for entertainment, which is affecting our children because they don't go outside and play anymore, or even worse, they don't build tree houses. The tree house is a very important place for boys growing up because it is the first place that they have dominancy in, and they can kick out whoever they want whenever they want, and now because treehouses don't have electricity, they are going out of fashion. there was a power shortage for 45 minutes, and during that time, every kid on the block was outside, and i did not realise how many kids lived in my neighborhood because everyone was inside. and now with video games getting "better" and the gaming industry is the only industry not crashing right now, i believe that this status of child developement is not going to change right now.
i have always said, "it is what it is, and if it works it works." I think it applies here to. Does it matter more on how you meet another person than that you met them in the first place? I don't think so. People meet other people in "non-typical" places and ways all the time, and with the growing acceptance of online dating it is only a matter of time before people start saying, "What chat room did you meet on, instead of where did you meet?" that is on the extreme side and I don't want it to ever come to that, but love is love. If you can make it, it works. I'm happy for people who find it regardless of how.
and its too, not to. That was a typo( ...I don't want my ethos to be discredited with simple mistakes...)
I agree with Trey but in my opinion people need to just GET OVER IT! Who cares if a couple met online, or at a grocery store, or at a bar completely wasted? Love IS love and no one can argue with that. Yeah-singles that are online are taking a risk of meeting a complete creep. Most people are aware of that risk and are extra cautious. Dating websites now are requiring more specific details than they were in the past and I think that prevents the possible problems that may occur. So, yes. "I M 4 Online D8ing". Good luck to those trying to find true love on the web!
Online dating has its pros and cons. I wouldn't necessarily recommend online dating from what knowledge i do know about it but im sure it does have its advantages.
There was a television show displayed called True Life about teenagers and how they live in cyber worlds. One girl inparticular, would meet boys online because that was where she felt most comfortable. In the end it was pointless for her because she was self conscience and would never meet the men face to face like they requested. The internet is good for that reason, but at the same time... your life won't always be comfortable. You are always going to be placed in situations where you have to go a little out of your comfort zone such as a job interview, or a blind date and so on. Its part of the life experience.
Another con of dating is honesty. Who's to say that your actually talking to the person the dater claims to be? Also I think security is a huge factor. It is personal opinion on whether you would actually want to meet a stranger from the internet. But me, being a girl,... that would be completely out of my comfort zone and personel sense of security to meet someone who could potentially be harmful for all i know.
After being so negative about dating online, Im sure it also has its benefits. As stated earlier, "Love is love" regardless of where it blooms. If you put yourself in someone elses situation persay a divorced father with children, most likely your working full time and when your not, you have children to raise. Online dating becomes one of few options that you actually would have time for because its fast and convenient. The other benefit of this is how inexpensive it is compared to real dating. People are cheap so who doesn't like that perk?
Either way like stated previously, Online dating has advantages and disadvantages so its solely based on ones personal opinions.
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